White Day: The Valentine’s Day Sequel You Didn’t Know You Needed

You’ve heard of Valentine’s Day, but have you ever heard of White Day? If not, let me introduce you to one of East Asia’s most fascinating (and slightly heteronormative) love traditions—one that, with a little tweaking, could totally work for the lesbian community.

So, What Exactly Is White Day?

White Day happens on March 14, exactly one month after Valentine’s Day. It’s mostly celebrated in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and China, and here’s the basic idea:

• On Valentine’s Day (Feb 14), women give chocolates to men. In Japan, this is often divided into honmei-choco (romantic chocolate for someone special) and giri-choco (obligatory chocolate for co-workers, bosses, or friends).
• On White Day (March 14), the men who received chocolates are expected to return the favor—typically with white-themed gifts like marshmallows, white chocolate, cookies, or more expensive presents like jewelry.
• There’s also an old-school idea that the return gift should be “three times” the value of what was received.

Basically, it’s a Valentine’s Day sequel, but with an expectation that men reciprocate women’s gifts in a way that reinforces traditional gender roles.

How Did This Custom Start?

White Day was actually invented by businesses (shocking, I know). In 1978, a Japanese confectionery company called Ishimura Manseido started marketing marshmallows as the perfect return gift for men who received chocolates. This led to the original name: Marshmallow Day. But since not everyone is crazy about marshmallows, other candy companies jumped in, pushing white chocolate, cookies, and fancier gifts instead—thus, White Day was born. South Korea followed suit, and now it’s a widely accepted tradition across East Asia.

But What About the Lesbians?

Here’s the thing—White Day, as it exists, is ridiculously heteronormative. It assumes a one-way street where women pursue men, and then men decide whether or not to reciprocate. That might work in the shōjo manga fantasy world, but for the LGBTQ+ community, it doesn’t quite fit.

So, how can we reclaim it?

White Day for Lesbian Couples

Instead of treating White Day as a strictly gendered event, queer couples can turn it into a mutual appreciation day. Here are some ideas for making White Day more inclusive:

• Give-Back Tradition – If you and your girlfriend exchange gifts on Valentine’s Day, use White Day as a fun excuse to return the love. Maybe one of you took the lead on Feb 14—now it’s the other’s turn!
• Lesbian White Day Rule: No One Gets Left Out – The original White Day idea had an awkward power imbalance, where some people gave chocolates but never got anything back. Let’s flip that—whether you’re dating, crushing, or celebrating friendship, everyone gets something cute.
• Celebrate With Queer Friends – In South Korea, it’s common for single people to gather and celebrate on April 14 (“Black Day”) if they didn’t receive anything on Valentine’s or White Day. Why not do something similar and make White Day an event for all queer relationships—romantic or platonic?
• Personalized Gifts Over Gendered Ones – Instead of the whole “women give, men return” structure, White Day can be about gifting something meaningful, whether it’s chocolates, flowers, or a handwritten letter.

Final Thoughts: White Day, But Make It Queer

Traditions change, and White Day doesn’t have to be just for straight couples. It can be a cute, playful way to celebrate reciprocity in love, regardless of gender. Whether you’re in a relationship, casually dating, or just want an excuse to shower your friends with affection, White Day can be your second chance at Valentine’s Day—without all the pink-and-red overload.

So, whether you’re buying chocolates for your girlfriend, treating your bestie, or celebrating solo with a self-love gift—happy White Day! 💙🍫